The Sober Curious Movement - An Alcoholic's Opinion

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Nonalcoholic Store - Point 5 - Chester, N.J. Nicolette Siragusa, one of the three co-owners and myself

There’s a movement that’s been gaining traction in our country—known as the Sober Curious Movement—which really took off during the pandemic. It’s primarily driven by millennials looking for alternatives to alcohol and the typical bar scene.

I was actually part of one of the early groups - called "Hip Sobriety" - years ago, when I was still actively drinking, trying to stop, but in denial about my alcoholism.

I have mixed feelings about Sober Curious. While I appreciate its value and place in our society, creating spaces where people can have fun without alcohol and where not drinking isn’t seen as strange, I think it can be a slippery slope for true alcoholics—people like me.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m emotionally and spiritually sober, and being around alcohol or people who drink doesn’t bother me. But I’m so far removed from that part of my life that I don’t need to return to any scene remotely like it.

There are SO many other things in my life now—so many things to do, see, and enjoy—that alcohol, bar scenes, and even “nonalcoholic” or “alcohol-free” shops don’t really fit in.

When I joined Hip Sobriety, I was still looking for a way to keep drinking without facing the consequences. The founder, Holly Whitaker, went on to write a bestseller, How to Quit Like a Woman. That’s great for some people, but for me - I never drank like a lady or quit like a woman. (I quit like a toddler - screaming and crying! lol) I wasn’t the type to sip a glass or two of wine with friends. One or two glasses of wine (or vodka) happened before I went out for the evening, before parties, and, in the depths of my alcoholism, before I even got out of bed.

Alcohol stopped being enjoyable for me a long, long time ago. My alcoholism was a solution to a problem. Drinking was my way of escaping life, of numbing the mental anguish and trauma. It wasn’t about enjoying an evening with a glass of wine and some friends—it was my secret weapon to silence the torment in my mind.

The other day, my husband Barry, our super rescue dog Frisco, and I went on one of our weekly day trips and ended up in Chester, our favorite New Jersey town. Chester’s Main Street is so charming—filled with history, small shops, and restaurants—and it’s dog-friendly, making it perfect for the three of us.

A new storefront caught our eye: “Point 5 - Sophisticated Non-Alcoholic Sips” was displayed in shiny letters on the front window. As we approached, a smiling woman welcomed us inside. The shelves were filled with beautiful bottles of all shapes, sizes, and colors. It looked like an upscale liquor store. Seeing some microbrews (Barry’s favorite), I asked, “Is everything here non-alcoholic?”

“Everything,” she responded proudly.

I introduced myself and told her I’m an alcoholic. Her name is Nicolette Siragusa, one of the three co-owners, and she was genuinely interested in my thoughts on her shop. We talked about non-alcoholic stores, the sober bar scenes, and the Sober Curious movement.

I shared my mixed feelings but told her I’m glad there are options now for people who want a night out without the pressure to drink. I mentioned that while the bottles didn’t trigger me, they could be a problem for others I’ve met in recovery rooms.

Nicolette told me she's had many discussions with customers who have friends or family that are alcoholics and ask Nicolette what they should do about having non-alcoholic beverages around them, thinking they might be triggers. "I advise them to just ask them first," she told me. I think that's great advice and then told her about a friend of mine in recovery who won’t even use balsamic vinegar because of its tiny alcohol content—and who had scolded me the other day for using a few drops of bitters in my seltzer. “That has alcohol in it! It's a slippery slope!” she yelled over the phone.

I laughed and told Nicolette I threw out my bitters. “Oh! We have a great variety of non-alcoholic bitters on the shelf behind you,” she said, smiling.

So, I bought a bottle of non-alcoholic bitters and used them that night with my seltzer - delicious! It actually is nice to have the choice— to have something I can enjoy, but (unlike alcohol) in a form that’s good for my body, mind, and spirit.

As it turns out, Nicolette is also a pastor at Brookside Community Church. God has a way of looking out for me and bringing people into my life that enrich my journey!