Part Two: The Disease of Emotions (and Spirit)

How Emotional Pain and Spiritual Disconnection Fuel Alcoholism

When I was in the depths of my disease — and of despair — all I could think was, “If I could just stop drinking, everything would be all right.”

So when I finally hit my rock bottom ("What Rock Bottom Really Looked Like for Me") and went to detox, then rehab, I had two thoughts:

1. This is the end of the road (fear).

2. It’s over — the drinking and the pain.

   
   

Luckily, that “end of the road” bubble burst about two weeks into 12-step meetings when I began to realize this wasn’t the end at all — it was the beginning.

But it wasn’t until my third or fourth week (of five long months in rehab) that the clinical director said something in our weekly group meeting that stopped me cold:

“Alcoholism is a disease of emotions.”

Wait. What?

I was just starting to grasp the physical side of the disease — that my body processes alcohol differently than “normal” drinkers — but a disease of my emotions? What did that even mean?

It meant that putting down the bottle was only the start. Yes, my drinking days had ended, but now I was walking a new road with no visible finish line.

This is the road of emotional and spiritual growth — the road I veered away from years ago and somehow, by grace and grit, found my way back to.

That’s what sobriety is: part miracle, part emotional work. Emotional and spiritual.

And here’s the truth — my body will always have this disease. If I pick up again, I’ll veer off this road and head straight toward death.

Why “Emotional Disease” Matters

In Part One of this series, we looked at the physical disease model — the way alcohol changes the brain, rewires the reward system, and hijacks impulse control.

But the physical story is only the first third.

The emotional side of alcoholism is where many of us live most of our lives — even long after we stop drinking. Research in the journal Alcohol Research: Current Reviews notes that people with Alcohol Use Disorder often have underlying emotional dysregulation — a chronic difficulty in identifying, processing, and managing feelings.

That was me. I didn’t know how to be with my own fear, anger, grief, or shame. Drinking was my emotional off-switch. Without it, every feeling felt too big, too heavy, too unbearable.

Dr. Tian Dayton, a clinical psychologist and author of Emotional Sobriety, explains it this way:

“Addiction is an emotional illness as much as it is a physical one. We drink to manage feelings we don’t yet have the tools to manage sober.”

This is why simply removing the alcohol isn’t enough. Without emotional recovery, relapse risk skyrockets. A 2019 Journal of Substance Abuse Treatment study found that people who built emotional regulation skills in recovery had significantly higher long-term sobriety rates.

And Then There’s the Spiritual

The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous calls alcoholism “a spiritual malady.” For me, that was another layer of truth.

Long before I was physically dependent, I was spiritually disconnected — cut off from my Higher Power, my purpose, and my own sense of worth. Drinking wasn’t just numbing my emotions; it was dimming my soul.

Dr. Gabor Maté, in In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, writes:

“The attempt to escape from pain is what creates more pain. At the core of all addictions is a spiritual void.”

For me, that void was filled — temporarily — with alcohol. Recovery meant finding healthier ways to fill it: connection, service, prayer, and meaning.

Where I Land

Yes, alcoholism is a disease. But if we only treat the body, we miss the deeper healing.

For me, recovery means:

• Healing my brain and body from the damage of alcohol.

• Learning to live with my emotions instead of running from them.

• Rebuilding my spiritual connection to something greater than myself.

  
  

That’s the real recovery journey — one I’ll be on for the rest of my life. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Your Turn

Have you heard alcoholism described as a disease of emotions or spirit? Did it change the way you see your recovery? Share your thoughts — I’d love to hear your story.

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Recovery is more than just putting down the bottle.

I created The RETURN (to Self) Method — to help strip away the stories, the shame, and the masks we’ve worn for too long, and bring you back to the you that’s still there.